I’m not who I used to be. You know the feeling when you feel like you’re not growing but a situation causes you to respond differently than before. It’s like “Oh, I guess I was growing.”
I keep telling you life in my 30s is something to behold.
20s Bianca was very people-pleasing, sensitive, gave too much power to other people’s opinions, and was very much critical of herself. I’m still working on being critical of myself but the other stuff, there is growth. I have noticed that I have the fight in me. I may be small but don’t get it twisted…I come back. I may get frustrated but never to the point of tears. I have more grit and strength than before.
I wish I knew the moment where it clicked. But God works in mysterious ways. He works in silence like the “n” in lasagna. With every setback, hurt, and lesson, it’s molding me.
Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.-Isaiah 64:8
Molding is active. The experiences are loud but the molding is silent. You may not see the growth just yet. But just know God is working. You will see the fruit and growth eventually.
Keep fighting. God will see you fight and honor it. He molds and will mold you if you allow Him to. I mean to take yourself out of the equation and rely on God. Not taking matters into your own hands but allow God full access in every facet of your life.
You don’t grow until you surrender to fact that you cannot do life alone. It is a daily thing that I have to do but I have seen good come out of it. Like I said, I am not the person I used be.
I let go the foolishness of other people’s toxicity levels. If a person wants to live their life at a 2 star-quality of life, let them be who they want to be…but you do not have to stand for their 2-star review of you. Live in your 5-star quality purpose. PERIODT!
I was talking with a dear friend about relationships. This friend ended a relationship simply because it was like pulling teeth with her partner to want better out of life and make healthy lifestyle choices. My friend tries to operate her life at a 5-star quality. Though life is hard for my friend, she perseveres and moves forward. That’s just the way she’s been raised: to live fearfully and wonderfully made by her Creator, to have self-pride, to carry herself well, and to be resilient in spite of her circumstances…5-star living and nothing less.
Life is not perfect but you have to give it all you got.
But her partner functioned at a 2-star. Now, I am not talking looks. I am referring to the quality of life you bring to the table. Your values, your confidence, your goals, etc. etc. When my friend (5 star) got together with her 2-star partner, there were moments of contention. The two star criticized my friend’s 5-star living as if she was vain and self-absorbed…but that could be far of the truth. Her two-star partner has had past relationships with other 2-stars so my friend, the 5 star was so different. So it just created problems and my friend left the relationship cause it was too much.
I’m not trying to judge or put anyone down. Here is my point: every person has a choice in life on whether to rise above or stay stagnant. Whatever you chose is whatever you chose but just know people may not understand your choice. Don’t let a 2-star’s insecurities affect what you are trying to do.
Don’t let someone’s low star quality affect what you are trying to do. Whether you are at 3 or 5 or at least striving for that, don’t let people shame you into a lower level. Yes, you are human and you are allowed to feel emotion BUT if you have the fight in you, don’t let anything nor anyone downgrade you. NEVER!
Let the 2-star BE the 2-star…just not in your presence.
It’s hard to let go things that you can’t control. I am learning there are things and experiences that can’t be helped to be honest. I am only in control my reaction. Sometimes situations call for letting it go.
Yes friend, let it go. **Insert Elsa singing “Let It Go”**
Energy is wasted when you try to solve something that is out of your hands. It is not giving up. I used to think I had to care about everything and everyone’s opinion of me. NO! LET IT GO. I pack on the anxieties and emotions of everyone/thing and forget myself.
I have had to learn it is not necessarily me per se. Sometimes it is another person’s insecurities, worries, and hurts put on me. Sometimes the situation is beyond my control and I just happen to be there. I am responsible for me and my sanity. Call it being selfish…but I can only take care of me in a situation.
You may ask: how do you let it go, Bianca? I take inventory of the situation. Did I add to this issue? What is my role in this person’s turmoil or situation? If I add to it, can I make the situation better? If so, how? ( Pretty much: I try to think and/or act to make the situation better, if possible.)
I find that most of the times, even with my best intentions and best efforts, situations don’t go as expected. I just have to remind myself that I did my best. Sometimes my best is not enough but that does not make me a terrible person. I have to let it go; it’s not my burden to carry. I am constantly learning and evolving in my “let it go” moments. I’m not perfect but I am intentionally learning to prioritize myself.
So yes, the art of letting go is REAL. Don’t let everything in life overwhelm you. It’s not worth your sanity. Take inventory of the situation and figure out where you fit in. If you have no part, don’t insert yourself. Let it go.
This quote speaks more volumes in my life now than before. Even through the valleys, there is a lesson, a testimony, and guidebook for someone else down the road. Survival makes strength.
I know the feeling where each day is a struggle to wake up, get out of bed, and face the world. The tribulation can be so much to handle. You feel and can almost hear people’s opinions and criticisms of your situation. You almost feel ashamed about your situation.
But you have to face it head on no matter how embarrassed, sad, depressed, and down you feel. Pretty much, my situation. But I know I have survived a lot. I am just climbing. I am learning and growing. Climbing to my mountaintop.
If you are still climbing to your goals, you are building your strength, endurance, and perseverance if you do not give up.
Keep brushing yourself off. Keep your head up. Fight each day no matter how it is. Learn to climb. And then you will see how far you’ve come.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6
Easier said than done but this is how I am living. Trusting means surrender to self. I am learning constantly to give up what I thought my plans were. God has changed my direction. I am casting nets that come up empty: job rejections, failed test results, relocation failure.
And yet… God says keep trying, you will figure it out. I am with you.
To be honest, there are moments where He seems so far away. It just seems like I am going at it alone. Facing the world and its nonverbal/verbal opinions of my failure.
And yet…God says keep trying, you will figure it out. I am with you.
It’s like I can only see the small light in front of me in the tunnel. Or the tiny thread in the quilt. I desire brightness to light my way. I desire to see the whole tapestry. But God will only give me what I need at the moment. It is quite frustrating not knowing the grand plan.
And yet, God says trust me. I know where you are going. I am with you.
It’s very hard not knowing where I am going. What I thought would be a couple months had been two years of struggling. I am learning contentment every day where I am. I am trying to trust, breathe, and keep living.
And still God says trust me and keeping going. I am with you.
Your identity was created and formed by the Creator of the Universe. Let no one tell you otherwise. You have purpose. Yes, you evolve with life experiences. You grow for the better, not for worse. A different season may require a different version of you but never lose your essence.
Personally, when I moved to Jacksonville and starting a new chapter in law school, I promised myself to not be swept away. I wanted to still be Bianca..but a better version. I did not want my faith in God to waiver, lose my morals and values, and lose my personality. God fearfully and wonderfully made me genuine and set apart. I am still Bianca but I am a better version not a different version.
So I encourage you to change, grow, and thrive as a better version of you. You are wanted and you are strategically placed on the Earth for a reason. Never lose who you are.
It started with many people saying I have encouraging words to uplift and my positivity is refreshing…but one person told me you should blog… “I would read your thoughts and words of encouragement.”
So on an August afternoon turned into asking general vague questions on Facebook about me starting a blog, researching the pros/cons and nuances of blogging, seeking advice from my circle. After contemplating, I answered the call.
Now a name…after word searches, asking people, and throwing out names…and a day to mull over my decision, Blissfully Bianca was born.
In this year as a blogger, I have seen my words have power. I have connected with beautiful people from around the country and around the world. I am still learning as I go but the best is yet to come. My year as a blogger has not been solitary but a great community of friends.
Thank you all for viewing, liking, commenting, giving me feedback, and giving me a platform. Love you all!!
I grew up watching America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway. I adore the fashion world. My dream is to walk and buy things from Rodeo Drive (LA) and Fashion Ave, (NYC), to attend Fashion Week, and meet Tim Gunn (Project Runway) in NYC or anywhere.
Society likes to tell women how to look and how to be like. It’s like you have be size of a lollipop stick to be beautiful. I believe every person on Earth is fearfully and wonderfully made. God made us different for a reason. Your body is a beautiful temple because God said so.
Ashley Graham is a beautiful model…period. She is confident and chooses to embrace the skin she is in. I encourage you with her story and her words of encouragement.