The Push to End Fear

It’s hard sometimes to overcome your fears. I like being in a safe bubble. I love stability and do not like change. For most of my life, I allowed fear to stop me. I would try to take shortcuts, avoid the mountain, or have people “take care” of the mountain.

God could tell I was getting too comfortable so He sent me to Jacksonville, FL where my comforts were hours away…far from reach. I had to start fresh with God and me. Though I was fearful, God allowed this new city to challenge and push me head-on into my fears. I was driving on highways, trying new things, meeting new people, and navigating on my own. My family and friends could tell I was coming into my own. I was braver Bianca.

The fears and doubts of darkness would taper with each situation I encountered. When you let go or get pushed, you will realize down the line…I was scared of that!?! It was not that bad. Why did I let this control my life for so long? I felt and still feel that way.

God will push you beyond your comfort zone. He will take away worldly securities and people in your life to make a point: YOU NEED ME AND ME ALONE.

Taper

Blissfully,

Bianca

Blissful, Monday Motivation

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Your life is not a mistake. There is purpose for every hill and valley. You may not be able to control the situation but you can adjust the volume to how you react.  Start each day with the belief that God has you. God is working for your good. Take a breath and continue your journey to greatness.

Volume

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Need for Fresh Air

There is a stereotype that Christians are always happy and are supposed to be 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Well, I am not one of those people. I am a Christian but I am a sinful, fallen human being. There are days where the joy of the Lord is my strength and some days I am weary and tired living in the mundane. I am the latter today.

Real Situation: I woke up not wanting to attend church, not wanting to serve in Guest Services for early service, not wanting to do anything. It was a struggle but I found some strength and will to attend church. In church, my back pain caused me not to stand for long. I just sat and enjoyed service. It felt like a Christian fail with Monday tendencies.  I was just having one of those days.

A wise person once told me “The choice is yours to be happy, sad, or mad…but not to stay there.” Don’t stay in the pain. Use God’s truths to give you strength even in the low points. You may not understand but fight the spirit of doubt and fear with REAL TRUTH.

I may be frustrated and tired but I chose to try not to stay in my emotions. God is still my refuge. I triumph because my Savior is active and alive. I will not be put to shame. I may be sad but I will not be shaken. God is still my Solid Rock and Foundation.  I may be down but I am not out. The Enemy is defeated 

So end, I give you Psalm 16:

Keep me safe, my God,
    for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”
I say of the holy people who are in the land,
    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
    or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 

Triumph

Blissfully,

Bianca

Blissful TV Shows I’m Watching Now

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With a busy law school schedule, I know I deserve a break from reality. Here are some amazing  TV shows that put a smile to my face.

  1. The Office (Netflix)
  2. Parks & Recreation (Netflix)
  3. America’s Next Top Model (the old re-runs and the recent revival)
  4. Jane the Virgin
  5. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix)
  6. Dancing with the Stars
  7. Project Runway
  8. Master of None (Netflix)

I would highly recommend these shows. There are reality shows, drama, and comedy. You cannot go wrong with these shows.

Any good shows you like? I am always down for suggestions.

Blissfully,

Bianca

My Desires, His Order

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This may not seem like much but this was the hands of my Baptist Collegiate Ministry (BCM) team laying hands on my prayer requests. I was a different person in 2013. I was a Senior in college hoping to be a lawyer, wondering if I was good enough or plain crazy. My LSAT was low, rejection letters seemed to come more, and doubt set in. My sister was still living with Sickle Cell Anemia (no bone marrow transplant thoughts yet). Life was scary and uncertain. Yet in the mist of the doubt and uncertainty, my team rallied around me, traced their hands on my requests, and prayed for me.

Little did I know that my sister would have a successful bone marrow transplant a few years later

Little did I know I would be accepted to law school a year later

Little did I know that God was preparing the way for me to move to Jacksonville, Florida

Little did I know that God was doing immeasurably more than I could ask for

I just had to be patient. Even though I felt my path was out of order, God used my team and friends to pray for peace. God knew the order. He always knows the order.

I just had to pray and live by faith. My God is a God of order. All things work for His good.

Order

Blissfully,

Bianca

The Struggles of An Overly Ambitious African American Female

*This post is not meant to delegitimize women who are wives and mothers-it means not every woman needs to think about matrimony and motherhood once out of the womb. This is one lady’s perspective on being overly ambitious: Me.*

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Double Standard As A Female Future Lawyer: Why is it that a guy wants a “smart girl” and yet they seem turned off by a sweet, kind Christian lady who wants to be a lawyer (not looking to marry a lawyer but actually becoming a lawyer)!?! Also, consider the double standard of being a lawyer: When a man says he is/is going to be a lawyer, women tend to fall in line to get the chance with him. When a woman says she is/is going to be a lawyer, the line is a desert. WHY IS THAT!?!

Funny Looks: The funny looks I get when I say what I am studying. “You’re too nice to be a lawyer.” “Really!?! A lawyer?” or the occasional “Oh.” It is as if African-American women are not supposed to be a lawyer. We are not second class citizens. We have choices and opportunities to be more than the invisibles. QUIT LOOKING AT MY CAREER CHOICE AS IF I SHOULD BE A STRAIGHT, WHITE MALE.

College Woes: Throughout college, I wanted to date or at least be in a relationship with someone who understood my dreams. To me, the Christian circles I associated with seemed to think I was crazy. Christian guys seemed to be turned off by me. Yes, I want to be a wife and mom but I want to be a lawyer. My dreams did not seem valid to most of them. So I had to learn to accept myself and I hope that a Godly man could come along.

But don’t cry for me Argentina!!! Mama B is good.

I get the same, surprised looks and I still repulse men. There may be respect  from the male species but I am not their type. And that is ok. Life is still good. I refuse to be limited and bullied to be less than just because I have more melanin in my skin and have “extra dreams.” I have learned to accept Bianca and allow myself to grow into my God-given purpose.  I know amazing women who raise children, work, and continue to push the boundaries, Women should not be boxed into societal gender roles. We should be who we want to be.

Call me weird and crazy but I am Bianca, future esquire. With every day that passes, I polish and transform into the woman God designed me to be. To tell you the truth, I like what I see. If you don’t believe me, just watch.

Polish

Blissfully,

Bianca

Who Is Bianca?

Hi Friends,

Don’t worry!! This is not a philosophy question, just a list of some facts about me.

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  1. I am a June baby…the 28th to be exact.
  2. I love painting.
  3. I am a big fan of Disney movies and James Bond movies
  4. My favorite colors are turquoise, mint green, yellow,  coral, pink..but I love to expand my horizons.
  5. I do not have a middle name.
  6. I collect mugs (all kinds from any place or whenever I visit a new place).
  7. Even though I reside in the South, I was born and raised in Stamford, Connecticut till I was 5.
  8. My cultural background is Haitian..and proud of it.
  9. I have really distinct, neat penmanship.
  10. I love doing crosswords and doing puzzles…”old person status”.

So this is ME!!..at least for the most part.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Summer Bucket List Life As Bianca

Hi Friends,

Summer is happening!! YAY!! It is my last summer as a student so I want to make it COUNT!

My Summer Bucket List:

  • Find a legal internship
  • Do pro-bono/volunteer work
  • Pass summer classes
  • Beach Day/Pool Day
  • Go to a Food Truck Event
  • Manicure/Pedicure Day
  • Buy a romper
  • Have a kick-but 27th birthday
  • Paint Day
  • Watch a Summer Movie
  • Try a new restaurant
  • Declutter my closet
  • Attend a cultural/artistic event
  • Have a Senior Photoshoot
  • Have lunch/coffee with someone I have not seen in a while
  • Watch Fireworks
  • Read Proverbs and Romans 

 

I encourage you to make summer list of things you want to do and experience. I made my list. I want to give you some advice on the process.

  1. Be practical. I will not have time to skydive this summer so yeah. But I plan things that I can do with the time I have.
  2. Mix it up. Include different activities or goals. You don’t have to be limited going out all the time. You can do stuff at home too.
  3. Go wild or go little on the list. Whether by quantity or quality of items, make your list for you.
  4. Get your family and friends involved. Why not have experiences with the people in your circle!?!
  5. Have fun!

So tell me what’s your summer bucket list.

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Breath of Fresh Air

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.-Psalm 119:105

As I was on the open road driving 6 hours from Atlanta to Jacksonville, FL, I was thinking of my mom’s prayer that morning: “Lord, I want to drive Bianca to Florida but I know I have to let her go. I know you will prepare the way for her…even when I am not on this Earth.” (to paraphrase).

I drove thinking about my mom praying for peace because her little girl was changing before her eyes.  My walk with the Lord has caused me to grow and change. The old Bianca seems like a distant memory. I am emerging into a different Bianca.  My parents notice.  Sometimes I feel like I do not recognize the Bianca I am today. I do know that God is doing a good work in me.

It is not easy to step outside of your comfort zone or security. But, Jesus says I will never leave nor forsake you.  He will not reveal the master plan. Instead, He gives you the provision you need for every step. To be where I am took so much faith, prayer, and boldness. Even when I detour, the Holy Spirit brings me back to the path God has called me to walk.

 His Word will be the lamp where I walk when I cannot see through trials and difficulty. The darkness does not overcome the light. His Word is a light to illuminate my purpose according to His Will. No matter how distant you are, you can find your way back to Him.

He has the path and the light. In order for His promises to be real to you and me, you just have to take the step of obedience one foot in front of the other.

Be Blessed Friends.

Distant

Blissfully,

Bianca

Diary of a Brassy, Black Woman

In our society and even within the black community, black women get a bad reputation. I have been told by black men that they would not want to date a black woman. I have seen comedians, celebrities, and social media folks have their “theory of black women.” Some of society’s opinions of black women include, but are not limited to, too loud, too demanding, too much attitude, too much drama, “just too much,” etc.

Real Talk: BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT BUILT THE SAME.

I know beautiful, smart black women who are not like that at all. I believe we, black women, are brassy: shamelessly bold. We love hard, we work hard, and we hustle hard.

Real Talk: For your information, I do not need to men to validate who I am. So your opinion is not needed.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made by my Creator. I am not perfect but I am not disposable. I am growing into a smart, brassy, African American Princess of the King of Kings.  He made no mistake on me. He calls me Beloved. He does not delegitimize my worth based on my color and societal stereotypes. I am shamelessly bold and Blissfully Bianca.

Real Talk: To the critics, deal with the black girl magic or get to steppin cause Mama B don’t need you.

Brassy

Blissfully,

Bianca