The Fear Is Real

My last set of midterms are over. whew!

Less than 60 days to graduation. oh boy!

Moving to a new city in less than 65 days. oh gosh!

Finding employment with medical benefits, vacation days, paid time off. YIKES!

The Bar is coming. DOUBLE YIKES!

You know that feeling when life was slow and steady and you want life to go faster and it actually gets faster. Life is changing in a matter of months. It is a lot to take in. I do not like change but this change is LIFE-CHANGING.  The season of the single law school student will be no more after December. I will be a Bar prep student/ Bar Exam Taker from December to February. Then what? I am in the general population. I will be waiting for results. But what’s next? The past 8 years of my life have been “planned” with school. But now, the fear is real. The fear of the unknown.

I am truly having to live by faith and not by sight. My security nets are falling away. I am starting fresh in a new season. I am so terrified. BUT, I am always reminded of wise words from my dad: You can never go wrong with Jesus. He has not brought you this far to leave or forsake you.

Like I said, I am scared but these wise words are what I hold on to. For now, I am enjoying the last few months of this long three-year season. But the best is yet to come.



Empowerment Over Fear with Bianca

Fear is a strong word. Fear is crippling word. It will always exists because we are human. BUT fear does not have to define you as long as you don’t let it

I LOVE quotes if you don’t already know. Here are several quotes I love the combat fear.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“Let your faith be bigger than your fear.”

“Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.”

“Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.”-John F Kennedy

“Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.”

Let these words on encouragement inspire you. Yes, you can live in your comfort zone for the rest of your days but what fun is that? I am not saying you need to bunge-jump or skydive off a cliff. I am saying to challenge yourself in your work, school, family, and relationships. Is it your attitude you need to change? Is it taking that tough class or starting a new career? Is it leaving a toxic relationship or friendship? What is it? Don’t be tame. Look inside yourself.

Don’t let fear cripple you into your comfort zone. You will live a life with regret and not intent. 




A Blissful Motivation for Change


Whether it’s a big leap or a step in the right direction, you have a daily opportunity to live.  I love this quote because it is true. You can change your life by a single decision. If you are not six feet under and not in a hospital dying, you are doing pretty well.  One life on one planet in a moment in time. Know that you have purpose. So what change will you decide to do?




My Dry Leaf of Love

Turning a new leaf does not always mean all of the leaves.

My leaves of life are ever-changing but sometimes I feel like certain leaves change more than others.

Once again, I find myself on social media seeing wedding pictures and the love between two people. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for them. But sometimes I ask myself, why  hasn’t my leaf of love been changedHonestly, there are moments in my life where I am happy and content. I wave my strong, single independent lady flag high. But sometimes I want a companion who likes me likes me. I would like to be treated out. I’m not all about law school and career goals. Sometimes I want to have someone who gives me butterflies…

I know what you are going to say: He will come when you least expect it. Bianca, marriage is hard work, be happy that you are single. Don’t have a lot going for you. You’re going to wish you were single when you get married. Enjoy your single hood. Etc…

Yeah thanks but no thanks for your “encouragement.” 27 years of waiting gets to you at times. It is not easy. I am human and I have needs too. My flesh is very weak but I will keep holding out for the best that God has for me. It’s just hard sometimes to really be single.

This is not a cry for help (don’t pity me). I am not requesting phone numbers of single men (please don’t..this is not the Bachelorette). This is a honest perspective of a cool, smart, single Christian lady waiting for love in 2017.




A Transformation of Fresh Air

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.-Isaiah 43:18-19

God makes change possible. You may be in a wilderness or wasteland of uncertainty but God provides. It may seem impossible but with God all things are possible. When God closes a season, it is not because you can’t handle it. It is because God is bringing something better and glorious in your life or He is trying to teach you something. It is all for His glory and your testimony. He does new things in due time. Be blessed, friends.




My Changing Perspective

Your change means making hard decisions. I have found in my life that cutting people off or distancing myself from certain people support my change. I am really extroverted so I do not like losing people (“friends”). The older I get, more I want a quality of friends rather than a quantity of “so-called friends.” In good times and dark times, a person would want that circle of consistency and love. Right? Right.

Now I find myself guarding myself more. I have introverted tendencies now because I do not trust everyone. It is not a paranoid thing but an awareness of people and their intentions.

My first year of law school was hard because I allowed people to have their way with my thoughts, feelings and perspective. I made not have acted out  the way they did but my emotions affected me. I did not feel worthy or I had to work for people’s “favor”, I would be torn apart while those “friends” kept living.

When I decided to change, remove/distance myself, and guard myself, some people noticed. Some people did not even reach out to me whether by social media or by phone (granted they knew I was alive on social media but did not message me). Some just did not care. That is how you know who is with you. A friend loves at all times. An acquaintance just exists. I realized that I lived my life with acquaintances.

Now my change means discerning people’s intention.  Call it picky and selfish but sometimes you need to be selfish. Be flavorful with your life but also with your choice of friends.

Be sure to surround yourself with true friends. Let your friends reflect the internal change you create.




Motivation through the Rough Times

There are times where change can result from thorny situations. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it scars.  A scar does not have to a stain of shame but a source of strength.  Don’t let the thorns let you bleed out and forget that something better is coming. The joyful moments do not come without thorns and difficulty.




Believe and Obey


Disobey the fears that cripples.

Disobey the doubts that define your thoughts.

Disobey the ones who limit your greatness.

Disobey the societal norm, stereotypes, and expectations.

Obey God, Obey your soul, Obey…




Changes Through Lenses


There are unexpected changes that alter the world. I wish I could say I understand all changes but I do not.

Being 11 on September 11, 2001 was a scary place. Chaos. Fear. Tragedy. These are words I did not understand. I learned sympathy for the lives lost. I learned that life is fleeting. I learned bad things happen.

I also learned that God is not blind to pain and suffering. I do not know why this happened but God knows why. God is still in control. Even though it has been 16 years, it is hard.

I wanted to leave you with the hope of Jesus Christ.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.-Psalm 34:18

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In theworld you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”-John 16:33

 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.-Psalm 121:1-2

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.-James 1:1-2




A Blissful Word from Mama B!

It is not enough to say “I want to change XYZ. I need to get out.”

You have to do something…like actually act. If you keep complaining, then you will be like a dog chasing its tail. As a friend, I would remember giving the same advice over and over again (run myself into the ground) to friends who knew what they had to do. I also had to realize I can want change for someone else but if they do not take the steps, it is not my fault.

Don’t blame and complain if you refuse to change. 

It’s ok to be selfish and take care of yourself.  You are the only person living YOUR LIFE. No one has to live with the consequences but YOU.

Yes, change is hard. I am speaking to myself on this too. But is being in the same position worth it? Is that person really worth it? Is that situation worth the pain and hurt you feel?

Let the change crescendo and catapult into a better version of life.

Change it or live in it. That’s the choice you have to make.