Mama B’s Values

In the world we live in, important values tend to take a backseat to greed, sin, violence, and many harmful things. So Mama B wants to break the cycle and give you values to keep in mind.

  1. Love Jesus. I am biased but Jesus has never steered me wrong. Jesus has a purpose for you. Jesus loves you so much He went on the Cross and rose. What greater love can you find.
  2. Love yourself. There is one YOU. Value who you are. No person can love you, besides Jesus, that could fill the insecurities you deal with.
  3. Find your purpose. I believe that we are all placed on this Earth for a reason. It may take time but to live in your purpose is a great feeling.
  4. Listen and learn from people. As humans, we are created differently. We may not all agree but you can learn from one another.
  5. Kindness goes a long way.
  6. Have good character. You can make or break your reputation based on your character.

A few of many values I have but this is a start. Love you all.

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Word from Mama B!

Can Mama B be real with you!?! Shopping is a lot like dating and relationships. You think I am crazy? Keep reading and you will get my point.

  • It looks good on the rack but not good when you try it on (The Deceiver Person)
  • It just looks bad when you see it. Like…you can’t deal with it. You just look away and keep moving (The Bad News Bears Person)
  • It may different from the rest and not what you expect but you give it a try (The Wild Card Person)
  • Many rackets of clothes you see but you have to discern what works for you based on what you are looking for.
  • Everyone has different styles but you do should not be forced into someone else’s style.
  • Society likes to pressure you with ads on what you think you need. Be true to yourself.
  • You don’t need to rush the dating process like it’s Black Friday.

All in all, you deserve someone who loves you and respects you. These things come out of my head. Find the humor in my analogies..but there is a sliver lining to what I said.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

Real Talk to Give You Life

I remember for the longest time being the friend who meddled and invested my time, energy, and resources to the people around me. I felt like it was my job to save everyone even at the expense of my own happiness. I tell you it is draining.

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There is nothing wrong with caring about people, BUT it is important to take care of your needs too. Some people you invest in may only bring you further down. Your constant, toxic investment in someone will divest your life and well-being. I have had to separate myself from toxic people. Their drama and issues made me feel worse. There was no give and take; it was me giving while they took. I would be drained and unhappy.

Moral of the Story: Care about yourself. Know that your mind, heart, and being matters too. Let no person still your joy. Eliminate the people who steal your joy and do not support you in your time of need. Do not be afraid to make yourself a priority.

Meddle

Blissfully,

Bianca

The Struggles of An Overly Ambitious African American Female

*This post is not meant to delegitimize women who are wives and mothers-it means not every woman needs to think about matrimony and motherhood once out of the womb. This is one lady’s perspective on being overly ambitious: Me.*

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Double Standard As A Female Future Lawyer: Why is it that a guy wants a “smart girl” and yet they seem turned off by a sweet, kind Christian lady who wants to be a lawyer (not looking to marry a lawyer but actually becoming a lawyer)!?! Also, consider the double standard of being a lawyer: When a man says he is/is going to be a lawyer, women tend to fall in line to get the chance with him. When a woman says she is/is going to be a lawyer, the line is a desert. WHY IS THAT!?!

Funny Looks: The funny looks I get when I say what I am studying. “You’re too nice to be a lawyer.” “Really!?! A lawyer?” or the occasional “Oh.” It is as if African-American women are not supposed to be a lawyer. We are not second class citizens. We have choices and opportunities to be more than the invisibles. QUIT LOOKING AT MY CAREER CHOICE AS IF I SHOULD BE A STRAIGHT, WHITE MALE.

College Woes: Throughout college, I wanted to date or at least be in a relationship with someone who understood my dreams. To me, the Christian circles I associated with seemed to think I was crazy. Christian guys seemed to be turned off by me. Yes, I want to be a wife and mom but I want to be a lawyer. My dreams did not seem valid to most of them. So I had to learn to accept myself and I hope that a Godly man could come along.

But don’t cry for me Argentina!!! Mama B is good.

I get the same, surprised looks and I still repulse men. There may be respect  from the male species but I am not their type. And that is ok. Life is still good. I refuse to be limited and bullied to be less than just because I have more melanin in my skin and have “extra dreams.” I have learned to accept Bianca and allow myself to grow into my God-given purpose.  I know amazing women who raise children, work, and continue to push the boundaries, Women should not be boxed into societal gender roles. We should be who we want to be.

Call me weird and crazy but I am Bianca, future esquire. With every day that passes, I polish and transform into the woman God designed me to be. To tell you the truth, I like what I see. If you don’t believe me, just watch.

Polish

Blissfully,

Bianca

Diary of a Brassy, Black Woman

In our society and even within the black community, black women get a bad reputation. I have been told by black men that they would not want to date a black woman. I have seen comedians, celebrities, and social media folks have their “theory of black women.” Some of society’s opinions of black women include, but are not limited to, too loud, too demanding, too much attitude, too much drama, “just too much,” etc.

Real Talk: BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT BUILT THE SAME.

I know beautiful, smart black women who are not like that at all. I believe we, black women, are brassy: shamelessly bold. We love hard, we work hard, and we hustle hard.

Real Talk: For your information, I do not need to men to validate who I am. So your opinion is not needed.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made by my Creator. I am not perfect but I am not disposable. I am growing into a smart, brassy, African American Princess of the King of Kings.  He made no mistake on me. He calls me Beloved. He does not delegitimize my worth based on my color and societal stereotypes. I am shamelessly bold and Blissfully Bianca.

Real Talk: To the critics, deal with the black girl magic or get to steppin cause Mama B don’t need you.

Brassy

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Word from Mama B!

Can Mama B be real with you?

God saved me from some interesting boy crushes in my day especially in high school. There were crushes that I had that were so popular, hot and buff. I was a nerdy, invisible, awkward teenager. I would fantasize holding hands in the hallways, eating lunch with the beautiful, popular kids, having an instant date to prom and homecoming, receiving Valentine’s Day gifts, and so many other couples things. But that was then…this is now.

He’s balding. He did not apply himself after high school. His once chisel, sexy body has been replaced with a gut. He is still believes he is still in high school. He is immature and complains about politics. He picks fights with people on social media. Yet, the nerdy, invisible, awkward teenager is now a social butterfly who is still awkward but better off.

The moral of the story: Buff high school popularity can last for so long.

Buff

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Queen Is A Champion of Her Empire

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I love what this quote represents.  My mom always reminds me to rely on God and myself.  She always encourages me to keep chasing and fighting for my dreams. A man is not the sum total of my life. A man’s presence is an addition to my empire.

A champion does not wait for someone to carry them. A champion works hard, stays humble, and keeps fighting. A Queen does not need a king to make her empire great. She is a champion in her own right. A Queen only needs her HEAVENLY KING and herself.

Colossians 3:23-24  “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,  since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Champion

Blissfully,

Bianca

An Ode to the Queens

You are strong.

You are beautiful.

You are wise.

You are defined by the Creator who calls you Beloved.

You are married, single, engaged, widowed, and divorced. 

You are Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, and Multiracial. 

You cover a spectrum of amazing careers.

You break ceilings.

You march for the cause.

You are a role model.

Humanity was birthed through you.

You take care of  your Kingdom from sun-up to sun-down, and through the night.

You are a Queen.

Don’t let anyone tell you less.

You are valid and worthy of life, love, and peace.

You are a Queen.

 

Blissfully,

Bianca

Mama B Struggles Too

via Daily Prompt: Desire

So I had a moment. I got into a very heated debate with my mom and sister about weddings (my sister and I are not engaged…so don’t worry). I was talking about how I want to plan the perfect wedding and that I am ok with a year-long engagement. My mom and sister grossly disagreed and felt no more than a six month engagement  (crazy to me)!!!

A little background about me: I am a type A personality. I like things done a certain way. I have to touch, feel, and approve of everything. I am a planner. To-do lists are my motivation and are my assistant to life.  I make a mental pros and cons list and repeat the list in my mind several times before making major decisions. I know, I am crazy…

At a point in the conversation, I felt attacked and hurt. And my mom (the woman who knows me very well) said, Bianca, what does God say about worry and being anxious?  I paraphrased with Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My mom, then comforted me with these words: Bianca, it’s ok to plan but don’t forget to give your plans to God. That is a tough pill to swallow.

Like any human being, I want beautiful things in my life. I do want to get married. I do want children. I do want a career with benefits and health insurance. I do want to own a home. I do want etc, etc, etc. There is so much that I desire to have but sometimes it seems like I am stuck where I am. My type A, psycho, OCD self wants to tell God how to plan my life and remind Him “Hey God, you know I want these things right!?! When are you going to do them? My biological clock is ticking and I am getting anxious.” Wrong Approach…

I am reminded of Psalm 37. I encourage you to read it. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to give those desires to God. I can’t make my desires happen on my own. I need the guidance, protection, and grace of God. Like I said, it is a tough pill to swallow. But it is a constant reminder that my path is a divine part of God’s great landscape. Where I am is where I am meant to be. I can actively be Bianca in my daily life. It does not mean that I disregard my hopes and dreams. It’s just that I need to be content in the now and pray for those desires. God is not blind to prayer. He wants to hear my desires and thoughts. But He also wants my obedience. So that’s what I am learning. Mama B struggles too.

Desire

Blissfully,

Bianca

The 26th Valentine Manifesto

via Daily Prompt: Expectation

Expectation

First off, Happy Valentine’s Day from Blissfully Bianca! It is my 26th Single Lady Valentine’s Day. The older I get, the more I realize that I should not settle.

For many years, I expected for love to be like the movies. I expected to find someone to post cute selfies/written posts about my valentine. I expected to hold hands, go on dates, get flowers, etc. I only saw the superficial love that I saw around me. It took time for me to realize that love was not  just the physical. It was the emotional, spiritual, and relational

I expected that love would be complete with a person. WRONG!! A person would not complete my life. Only God could do that.

I expected to be a certain way in order to find someone. WRONG!! I needed to love myself and the person God created me to be. I needed to realize that I should not waiver on the standards I want for a God-fearing man.

I expected that I should “put myself out there and go into the dating pool to see what I like. I needed to realize that I do not like games and temporary fixes to make me worthy enough to date. It’s ok to not date the frogs, lizards, chameleons, and pigs. God is the one who determines and directs my steps to my husband.

I expected that if I was not married with children by 30, I  would an old maid. I realize that my season of life is finishing school, finding out the woman I want to be, living independently, and figuring out what I like in life. Life does not end in my 20s. My life is continuing to change and will continue. No old maid here.

To sum up my Manifesto: A romantic relationship is not the sum total of your being. It is the part of the blessing that God has given you. God is (and should be) the sum total of your life. He loves you more in a lifetime than any other person. He sent His Only Son to do the ultimate sacrifice to save sinners like you and me. That is love!! So if you are single, taken, engaged, it’s complicated, brokenhearted, or so in love, Jesus is still madly in love with you. There is wholeness in Him. No matter how much you mess up, He still loves you. 

No matter what your expectations are, God’s expectations for your life and Valentine’s Day are higher and better. You are still valuable and loved. You are awesome and fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator. God is still writing your life and love story. Love, trust, and believe in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Blissfully,

Bianca