A Blissful Word from Mama B!

It is not enough to say “I want to change XYZ. I need to get out.”

You have to do something…like actually act. If you keep complaining, then you will be like a dog chasing its tail. As a friend, I would remember giving the same advice over and over again (run myself into the ground) to friends who knew what they had to do. I also had to realize I can want change for someone else but if they do not take the steps, it is not my fault.

Don’t blame and complain if you refuse to change. 

It’s ok to be selfish and take care of yourself.  You are the only person living YOUR LIFE. No one has to live with the consequences but YOU.

Yes, change is hard. I am speaking to myself on this too. But is being in the same position worth it? Is that person really worth it? Is that situation worth the pain and hurt you feel?

Let the change crescendo and catapult into a better version of life.

Change it or live in it. That’s the choice you have to make.

Crescendo

Blissfully,

Bianca

Blissful Phrases Single People Wish Married People Would Stop Saying

We know our family and friends mean well but really!?! If we needed your help and guidance, we would ask. Singlehood is not a sad place if you don’t wallow waiting your soulmate. I live a wonderful fulfilling life as a single person. God’s providence has not lessened or changed because it’s just me.

I asked some of my peers the words/phrases they tire of hearing:

  • Oh, I’m sorry.
  • *Asks my age*… You should be married.
  • You know that’s usually when God brings the right buy along
  • It will happen when you least expect it
  • Why aren’t you married?
  • You’ve got plenty of time
  • That’s a shame. You’re such a lovely girl 
  • You’re not getting any younger. If you wait too long you won’t be able to have kids.
  • You’ll find the right one and just know 
  • God has His plan for you, just wait it out
  • If you don’t settle, you’ll never have kids
  • Your standards are too high.
  • A degree is nice but it can’t love you back.

Your delivery of constant criticism of my relationship status is discouraging and flat out annoying (sorry not sorry). Family and Friends, like I said we know you mean well. If we wanted someone, we would say something.  Instead of pitying and criticizing your single peeps, why not ask us about:

  • What are you up these days?
  • What are your goals?
  • What is new in your life?

Single people have lives. We are interesting too. We just want you to love and RESPECT where we are. That is all.

Delivery

Blissfully,

Bianca

She’s Different

Her energy was a moxie.

She stood tall above the rest.

She’s unique.

She’s an anomaly.

Her magic was insurmountable.

Society wants to delegitimize her power but she stands tall.

Her magic shines.

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Moxie

Blissfully,

Bianca

My Voice

 

The wind blows a breeze.

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The chimes begin to ring, slowly and lightly.

Though the sound seems faint, it still rings.

 

The wind blows a stronger wind.

The chimes ring faster and louder.

The jangle of the chimes creates unapologetic ripples.

 

The chimes are not afraid.

She is not who she used to be.

Her voice resonates the room, the home, and the world.

Her jangle is not noise but a voice.

 

Jangle

Blissfully,

Bianca

Real Talk to Give You Life

Another year older, another year of lessons going forward.

You and Me are walking through the journey of life.

If God has granted you life, make a choice to follow Jesus.

Know that not every person you started with will end with you

Do not apologize for making yourself a priority.

Make hard decisions.

Eliminate negativity.

Think before you speak.

Maintain a level of poise and class even with the haters.

Be a magnet of positivity.

Do your best.

Magnet

Blissfully,

Bianca

Mama B’s Values

In the world we live in, important values tend to take a backseat to greed, sin, violence, and many harmful things. So Mama B wants to break the cycle and give you values to keep in mind.

  1. Love Jesus. I am biased but Jesus has never steered me wrong. Jesus has a purpose for you. Jesus loves you so much He went on the Cross and rose. What greater love can you find.
  2. Love yourself. There is one YOU. Value who you are. No person can love you, besides Jesus, that could fill the insecurities you deal with.
  3. Find your purpose. I believe that we are all placed on this Earth for a reason. It may take time but to live in your purpose is a great feeling.
  4. Listen and learn from people. As humans, we are created differently. We may not all agree but you can learn from one another.
  5. Kindness goes a long way.
  6. Have good character. You can make or break your reputation based on your character.

A few of many values I have but this is a start. Love you all.

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Word from Mama B!

Can Mama B be real with you!?! Shopping is a lot like dating and relationships. You think I am crazy? Keep reading and you will get my point.

  • It looks good on the rack but not good when you try it on (The Deceiver Person)
  • It just looks bad when you see it. Like…you can’t deal with it. You just look away and keep moving (The Bad News Bears Person)
  • It may different from the rest and not what you expect but you give it a try (The Wild Card Person)
  • Many rackets of clothes you see but you have to discern what works for you based on what you are looking for.
  • Everyone has different styles but you do should not be forced into someone else’s style.
  • Society likes to pressure you with ads on what you think you need. Be true to yourself.
  • You don’t need to rush the dating process like it’s Black Friday.

All in all, you deserve someone who loves you and respects you. These things come out of my head. Find the humor in my analogies..but there is a sliver lining to what I said.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

Real Talk to Give You Life

I remember for the longest time being the friend who meddled and invested my time, energy, and resources to the people around me. I felt like it was my job to save everyone even at the expense of my own happiness. I tell you it is draining.

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There is nothing wrong with caring about people, BUT it is important to take care of your needs too. Some people you invest in may only bring you further down. Your constant, toxic investment in someone will divest your life and well-being. I have had to separate myself from toxic people. Their drama and issues made me feel worse. There was no give and take; it was me giving while they took. I would be drained and unhappy.

Moral of the Story: Care about yourself. Know that your mind, heart, and being matters too. Let no person still your joy. Eliminate the people who steal your joy and do not support you in your time of need. Do not be afraid to make yourself a priority.

Meddle

Blissfully,

Bianca

The Struggles of An Overly Ambitious African American Female

*This post is not meant to delegitimize women who are wives and mothers-it means not every woman needs to think about matrimony and motherhood once out of the womb. This is one lady’s perspective on being overly ambitious: Me.*

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Double Standard As A Female Future Lawyer: Why is it that a guy wants a “smart girl” and yet they seem turned off by a sweet, kind Christian lady who wants to be a lawyer (not looking to marry a lawyer but actually becoming a lawyer)!?! Also, consider the double standard of being a lawyer: When a man says he is/is going to be a lawyer, women tend to fall in line to get the chance with him. When a woman says she is/is going to be a lawyer, the line is a desert. WHY IS THAT!?!

Funny Looks: The funny looks I get when I say what I am studying. “You’re too nice to be a lawyer.” “Really!?! A lawyer?” or the occasional “Oh.” It is as if African-American women are not supposed to be a lawyer. We are not second class citizens. We have choices and opportunities to be more than the invisibles. QUIT LOOKING AT MY CAREER CHOICE AS IF I SHOULD BE A STRAIGHT, WHITE MALE.

College Woes: Throughout college, I wanted to date or at least be in a relationship with someone who understood my dreams. To me, the Christian circles I associated with seemed to think I was crazy. Christian guys seemed to be turned off by me. Yes, I want to be a wife and mom but I want to be a lawyer. My dreams did not seem valid to most of them. So I had to learn to accept myself and I hope that a Godly man could come along.

But don’t cry for me Argentina!!! Mama B is good.

I get the same, surprised looks and I still repulse men. There may be respect  from the male species but I am not their type. And that is ok. Life is still good. I refuse to be limited and bullied to be less than just because I have more melanin in my skin and have “extra dreams.” I have learned to accept Bianca and allow myself to grow into my God-given purpose.  I know amazing women who raise children, work, and continue to push the boundaries, Women should not be boxed into societal gender roles. We should be who we want to be.

Call me weird and crazy but I am Bianca, future esquire. With every day that passes, I polish and transform into the woman God designed me to be. To tell you the truth, I like what I see. If you don’t believe me, just watch.

Polish

Blissfully,

Bianca