I wanted to thank you Bliss Fam! It has been five years since I started this blog. WOW!
My dear family friend suggested to share my wisdom and words of encouragement. I never thought my words mattered . I would have opinions here and there. I loved encouraging others in whatever platform I was in. I never thought it was a gift. I just thought it was just talking.
But, it became so much more.
It has been a gain. I have grown so much. It takes vulnerability and heart to write. I always want you, the reader to feel encouraged and loved. I consider writing as talking to a friend. I always want to give my best work from my heart. At first, I felt like it was a little blog but I am starting to call myself a writer. I write great content that I am proud of. I am still learning but it has been a great ride so far. Thank you all for staying for the ride. Here’s to five more years.
God holds it all together. Me, you, humanity, and everything under heaven. It’s hard to remember sometimes. This pandemic has shifted everything. Even in my life, I felt the pandemic messed up plans, hopes, and dreams. In my life, things have been delayed for whatever reason, even before the pandemic.
It’s hard sometimes. I feel like God has put me through the ringer. I had such plans for my life when I was a 17 year old high school graduate…boy, was I wrong…
But even in the disappointments and uncertainty, I held on to God. Now, I was not happy all the time. I still struggle today. It is hard to see friends and colleagues succeed while I was/am stuck. It is hard seeing the social media shimmer and shine while I am just trying to function and not have a meltdown. But I have to keep going. To stop living life is to lose. I was literally moving by faith hoping for God to change the circumstance in the valley. I have moments of mourning and anxiety when things go wrong. It just hurts. But like Job, I will not denounce God…I just try my best to live for Him.
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.-Psalm 26:13
Here comes this song by Maverick City Music-You Hold It All Together. The lyrics are so real. God always comes at the right time. God is still writing my story. Yes, my chapters are different from everyone else but that does not mean God is not working.
I know that God has good in store for me. I do get anxious. However, I know that my life is in His hands. He holds it together. God’s plan is for my gain and His Glory, not to my detriment nor expense.
Bliss Fam, we all carry so much but God still has a plan. Don’t give up. God is holding this crazy thing called life together. He loves us even when life is hard.
My favorite lyric is: God of my present, God of my future, You write my story, You hold it all together
He was always there, He is still there, and He will always be there.
Hang in there, Bliss Fam. God is still writing mine and our story.
I am such a people pleaser and seek to be validated. I always felt the need to serve and go above and beyond to prove my worth even at the expense of being drained and not being given back the same service. This is true in all facets of my life. It is the same vicious cycle.
I am not appreciated nor valued though my work is unmatched. My work ethic is solid. My energy is positive and good. So why do I sell myself so short?–probably because I do not think I can do better or I’ve been disappointed so much that I would take scraps than nothing at all…the need to be wanted. A whole lot of things…
Until a defining moment where I left a situation that did not serve me nor appreciate my abilities–it was scary but there is no reason to stay in the situation. I gave my all but came up with little. I received and accepted scrap metal when I was giving gold. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, and emotionally drained. Then my dear mom said, “Leave.”
Leave? I thought my mom was crazy. But there is truth in that one word.
I am learning I don’t need to stay where I am not wanted nor valued. If people do not understand, you do not owe them an explanation. Just leave.
I wish it could be easy to do. I wish I could tell you that all answers will be solved. I wish I could say there will be an easy transition.
All I can say is to trust God and yourself for the next step. You have to leap in faith and know that God’s got you . Sometimes you need to leave to see and know your worth. Hold your head high and move forward. Leave and know your value and be brave to leave something that does not add to you.
It’s ok to leave when something doesn’t serve you.
I am experiencing a harvest that I did not expect.
Year 30 has been an interesting start to a new decade of living. Last year, I turned a new age at the height of the pandemic. I was in an identity-crisis like everyone else, just trying to navigate life and figure out, “What am I going to do?” I thought that it would be fruitless to be honest. I thought that I would be in waiting for a harvest. But you know what? I was yielding a harvest I did not realize. I was growing, changing, and evolving.
Mental health was a defining moment for Year 30. Going to therapy was a BIG STEP in my growth process. To divulge hurts, disappointments, and traumas that I knew or did not realize that I kept in. I LOVE MY THERAPIST. I do believe God hand-picked her for me: a black Christian therapist. She has been a great, guiding facilitator in my growth and development. I do feel a sense of ownership in my narrative.
Knowing my worth is a lesson in all facets of my life. I made very big decisions to walk away because I realized that I deserved more. I did not deserve to be ostracized, criticized, nor belittled for who I am. I can eliminate the situation or the person. I don’t need to feel bad at all for protecting my soul. My worth is defined by God in every facet of my life as a black, Haiti-American Christian. So I can hire and fire people and situations accordingly.
My story is worth telling. During the pandemic was the height of racial tension and reckoning. I had two choices: hide and destroy myself internally or be about change and open myself up. It was hard to be honest, sharing racial traumas in my life. I had people reach out because they honestly thought I was fine but I was just trying to survive. Yes, people gave me flack and tried to explain away my experiences but I stood in my truth. I had to let go and it felt good in the end because I had real dialogues with people about race and gave people perspective. My hope was to make people think.. and I believe I did that.
I am curating my quality tribe. I have had great people come in my life in Year 30. Quality, salt of the earth people. I am learning to ask for help and prayer. Not just be a friend to someone but allow my friends to be my friend (or at least rise to the occasion). I am quite stubborn with friendships; I give all of myself but I don’t allow people to do the same. But I am trying to be better. Not everyone who is my friend on social media is my friend. There are levels of “friendship” but then there is my tribe and village. That is special to me and I am curating that. They know who they are. I feel loved and supported by them. It’s pretty awesome.
My life has teachable moments for others. Alongside my story is worth telling, my story is worth helping others. I guess I am old enough to give wisdom. God has given me opportunities to invest in the future generations. Young adults and kids are listening and looking up to me for advice and guidance. I was once in their shoes so it is amazing how God can use “little old me” to show me how far He has brought me.
***BONUS***– Back pain is real in your 30s. Like I have to give myself a moment to prepare my body to wake up. My body is changing I guess.
That is my 30 Year Audit. It’s been a great start so we will see where it goes in Year 31.
June is Black Music Appreciation Month. It was initiated by President Jimmy Carter for June to honor the contributions of black artists and musicians (a new fact I learned). It was initially called Black Music Month but President Obama changed the name to Black Music Appreciation Month. In the spirit of that, of course, I had to make a playlist. I have to say it is lit…it’s music to vibe to, to dance to, and to just chill. I have recent artists that I have discovered and love right now. I do pay homage to the legends like Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, and Sade. I have music that I grew up listening to. It’s really great. IT’S BLISSFULLY APPROVED! So happy listening.
In honor of Father’s Day, I wanted to do a blissful list of traits I inherited or have grown into from my dad. My dad is a simple man. He’s a hard worker who loves the Lord and takes care of his family. He lets me be crazy me. He puts up with me cause sometimes I get too type A. He is a go with flow type. It drives me crazy but I still love and admire him for it.
So here goes my list:
I am a carbon copy of my dad…same smile, same long face, same facial qualities.
My sense of humor and -isms comes from my dad. The things that come out of our mouths can make people drop to the floor. My mom does say “You act just like your father” or “You are your father’s daughter”
Roadtrip masters– my dad taught me how to drive and everything in-between. All the tips and tricks to a successful road trip, I owe to my dad.
Taste in Music– My dad loves all kinds of music. My love of Michael Jackson and Sade comes from my dad. Great story: This past Grammy award, during the in memoriam slideshow, I saw that Bunny Wailer, a famous reggae star passed. My mom was shocked that I knew who he was. I replied, “Of course, I would. Daddy would play Bob Marley and the Wailers all the time.” It’s safe to say my dad was proud.
I love listening to podcasts because of my dad. When I was a kid, I would be so confused as to why my dad would stop listening to music and listen to people talk. Well, a few years back, I started listening to podcasts on my road trips and now it’s like television to me. A week is not complete without my podcasts.
My talent– my dad is not a singer but plays guitar. But still, I was a musical kid because of my dad’s passion for music.
My love for Jesus– One of the most endearing qualities of my dad is the fact that he points me to Christ. Our deep talks are always good. When I need advice, he points me to Christ. I love him always for that.
It’s ok to be scared but leap. God’s got you. In this past week, I had to choose whether to leap in faith or let my toxic pride cloud the help I needed.
I knew what I wanted to do but it was just terrifying. I asked God for one thing and He gave me something different. He likes to do that.
I am a cautious person so I don’t like surprises nor uncertainty about what is next. I am a type A planner, control freak through and through. But, that’s not faith. It’s fear. Fear is quite the monster. Fear is a thief of life itself. You can either give into it or fight with faith. Toxic pride creates a control freak mentality over everything and I get so frustrated when things are different than my plans. My anxiety goes through the roof and the past mistakes creep up. I am on edge. Fear cripples and eats me alive.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.-Hebrews 11:1
Faith in action is hard. It’s not a noun but a verb. It’s a daily exercise and practice. Faith is going into the unknown but it is also knowing that God is ever-present leading and guiding you. He knows you (and I) are scared but He’s a Comforter and Sustainer. He will not let you fall no matter how many times you (and I) think otherwise. Breathe. Inhale and Exhale. It’s scary but God’s got you. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
So I just wanted to share that. It’s ok to be scared. We are human. Every day is a battle. But just know God is with you even in the unknown places and decisions we need to make. Leap in faith. When God puts faith inside of you, all things are possible. With that comes surrender to self and pride. Fear does not allow you leap, faith does. Trusting God takes faith not fear only. Living takes faith not fear.
June is Caribbean-American Heritage Month and Immigrant Heritage Month.
As I have said before, I am the daughter of Haitian immigrants. I love the Caribbean roots and culture that I come from. The older I get, the more I appreciate the authenticity of being proud of where I come from.
It took me time to understand my parents. They were just modern-old school God-fearing parents. Yes, they allowed experiences but it was lakay, lekòl, legliz (translation: home, school, church). Education was enforced. We were to be good citizens of good character outside the home. I really thought my parents were crazy. But, that changed when I went on a mission trip to Haiti after the 2010 Haiti earthquake. It was one thing to hear stories of Haiti but to experience it brought more perspective. It clicked…my immigrant parents wanted more for me, that is why they pushed so hard.
I always called myself the daughter of Haitian immigrants. I never called myself Haitian…ever. It was not because I was ashamed. I honestly did not say it because I did not think I qualified as Haitian. I was not born in Haiti nor had many experiences traveling to Haiti. I was not fluent in Haitian Creole (I’m learning and trying to speak it more). But also, I had bad experiences where a few Haitian people in the community said and made me feel like I was not Haitian. So, I shut down and let my parents be Haitian.
But, in therapy, one of first things I explored was my racial identity. It was not just being black enough; it was also not being Haitian enough. Damaging experiences of the past made me feel that I was less than worthy to be considered Haitian. Their insecurity was not my weight to carry. That is on them. I even asked my parents:” Am I considered Haitian?” Their response: “Of course you are. Just because you are born here, that does not change that you are Haitian. You are. You come from us. You are Haitian.” That was a relief.
New Affirmation: I am Black and Haitian.
Yes, I am born in America but I am no less Haitian than my parents. No one’s opinion of me matters. My experiences may be different but Haiti runs through my blood.
I am proud to be Haitian and to come from immigrants. It is the essence of me, being created in God’s image as a black, Haitian woman placed in the here and now for a greater purpose than myself.
Though I am grateful internally, I wanted to express gratitude externally for this season of life. It is easy to talk about what is going wrong in your life and things you want to fix/change. I’m speaking to myself. Just know, there is always room to give gratitude.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”- 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Yes, be grateful in ALL things. So here is my gratitude list:
My mental clarity has evolved in the way I protect my mind, body, and spirit. Therapy has been a game-changer. I see its positive effects in the way I carry myself and deal with situations.
My style is AMAZING! My LEWKS for the spring and summer are beautiful and just my style.
Having a job has given me some financial relief. A steady paycheck is good to have.
My summer hair is GOALS (to me)! Long, brown braids…yup. I be cute!
I am grateful for my support group of family and friends. There are some days where I do not feel my best. They are a text and prayer away from giving me encouragement. I feel loved and it is a great feeling. I am blessed for my tribe and my tribe knows who they are
My new church- truly a great community.
Enough about me. What are you grateful for like right now? It will make you feel good when you list it. It does not have to be big…it can be as simple as waking up to see another day. But, do that and you will see the difference in your mood.