Posted in A Word from Mama B!

Not Luck but Standards

So dating…am I right!?! It’s hard. To find a descent, quality Christian guy, HARDER!! You try to put yourself out there and come up empty.


For the longest time, during my 20s, I thought there was something truly wrong with me. I did not know how to flirt nor play the “game.” I just could not attract anyone. If I did, short-lived and never went pass a few dates. After such failure in the dating realm, you start thinking “Is there something wrong with me?” “What do I need to change?” “Am I worthy?” Though your friends, peers, and family tell you, “Bianca, you are awesome. You are *insert kind compliment*” Are they bluffing? Are they being nice? If I’m so great, then why can’t a guy see that? What is wrong with me?

Even now, dating sucks just a new decade. BUT I have a realization: I have standards that most men cannot keep up with. I get that we are all a work in progress but there has to be some striving. I am a driven, determined woman and I guess it shows. I have big dreams I want to experience but have existing accomplishments to be proud of. I am loyal to my family, my Lord, and my responsibilities. I am sure of myself. I am intentional about how I act. I will not be pressured to do anything nor lower my standards for a guy.

Call me intense or really committed but I just call it being about something. I guess some guys can’t hang and that is on them, not me.

I am told sometimes, “Bianca, you are so lucky to be single. Don’t waste it.

I’m not lucky to be single just because. I am blessed to know myself well enough to know what I will not stand for. I don’t want to settle. Guys tend to dismiss themselves from me and that saves me time. I don’t want to sell myself short for someone who does not appreciate who I am and my standards. I’m single cause I want God’s best addition to my life. To grow with someone, to be challenged by someone to be the best version I can, to be myself with, and to just be with.

If it takes a lifetime, ok. I will work on myself and keep going. If God has a husband for me, awesome sauce! If not, I will be fine because my standards for my well-being have brought me this far (plus I will get a dog). God’s got me and I will keep it moving.



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